religious jokes

A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something."

So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."

"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.

"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."

“That's nothing,” the man snorted. “Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!”

The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."

"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

- You're running out of clean clothes and the robe saves on laundry.

- The church is usually crowded and you want to make sure you always have a seat.

- You've just been selected for jury duty and you want to get use to sitting with a large group of people.

- The collection plate is never passed to the choir.

- There's a clock in the back of the church and you want to know when one hour has passed.

- For years you have wanted to know who sits in the back of the church but were afraid to turn around and look.

- You've been known to nod off during the service and don't want the minister/priest to catch you.

- The chairs for the choir are padded and are the most comfortable chairs in the church.

A Baptist and a Mormon were talking one day about the subject of polygamy.

The Mormon said to the Baptist, “Show me one verse in the Bible that forbids polygamy."

The Baptist said, “No man can serve two masters.”