word play jokes

At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children."

As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable."

Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify...

Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable."

As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut.

"Holy crap! That's Bob, and I think he's sleep walking. Heck, he's sleep running!" the waitress exclaims to the bartender.

"He sure is fast asleep," the bartender replied.