word play jokes

Two people got into an argument.

One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!"

The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!"

I failed at investigative journalism, pursuing a lead about an ice cream shop that was serving undersized portions.

I couldn’t get the scoop.