word play jokes
Favorite this joke I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian.
It was the least I could do for him
- If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
When my 14-year-old son, Patrick, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, "Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!"
After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker. "Sorry folks, that's PAT Hogan!"
After doing laundry, I was putting my clean socks in the top dresser drawer when suddenly the bottom drawer sprang open and smacked me in the shins.
I bent over to close the bottom drawer and the top drawer sprang open and clipped me on the forehead. No sooner did I stand up and close the top drawer when the bottom drawer sprang open again and smacked my chins again.
So, I learned an important lesson in life: When one drawer closes, another drawer opens!
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