Best Jokes

After my wife landed a coveted job offer from UPS, we went out of town to celebrate.

While on our trip, she was contacted by the company's Human Resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.

"No problem," she said. "I'll FedEx them right over."

A cow and a pig are watching TV.

Pig: Wanna watch something scary?

Cow: Okay by me.

So the pig changes channel to the Food Network.

A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails.

"How long do you want them?" asked the salesman.

"Oh," said the customer, "I was rather hoping to keep them."

A frog, a duck, and a skunk went to the movies. The frog and duck were allowed to see it, but the skunk wasn't.

Why?

Because the frog had a greenback, the duck had a bill, but the skunk had only one scent.