Best Jokes

A hunting party is hopelessly lost. “I thought you said you were the best guide in Maine!” one of the hunters angrily said to their confused leader.

“I am, “replied the guide. “But I think we’re in Canada now.”

A young kid found an old lamp. As always the lamp was rubbed and a genie appeared granting 3 wishes.

Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!

Kid: I wish math didn't exist.

Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!

Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the army?

The first time he saluted he nearly killed himself.

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife!"