Best Jokes

How do you put a baby alien to bed?

You rocket to sleep.

The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”

“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”

Little Johnny was awaiting the arrival of his piano teacher when his mother inquired, "Little Johnny, did you wash your hands?"

Little Johnny replied, "Yes."

Mother: "And your face?"

Little Johnny: "Yes mother."

Mother: "And did you wash behind your ears?"

Little Johnny: "On her side, I did."

Einstein finally finished his theory of relativity...

It’s about time!