Best Jokes

The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”

“I do.”

“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”

“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”

His girlfriend’s father was interviewing Young Charles.

“So,” said the father, “you want to be my son-in-law, do you?"

“No, not particularly,” said Charles tactlessly, “but if I want to marry your daughter I haven’t much choice, have I?”

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear.

He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?"

The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What's the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home...I just want her to stay with you guys."