Best Jokes

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.

"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Wife to husband...

"This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts... like ties and fur coats."

The journey of a thousand miles...

Begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

Nero was talking to his financial advisers in a Roman amphitheater.

"Why aren't we making any money from this building?" he said.

An advisor replied, "Because the lions are eating up all the prophets."