Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people's computers.
My wife kicked me out because of my awful Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.
But don’t worry...
I’ll return!
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
Police officer: Sir, I pulled you over because I have been following you for a while and you went through a stop sign without stopping, went through a red light AND you didn’t yield for the pedestrians on a crosswalk. So let me ask you, did you see the red light?
Driver: Yes I did.
Police Officer: Did you see the stop sign?
Driver: Yes I did.
Police officer: Did you see the pedestrians?
Driver: Yes I did.
Police officer: SO WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP???
Driver: Because… I didn’t see YOU.