Best Jokes

My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.

As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!”

I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and sometimes ending up having to buy a whole new phone.

I finally asked him the obvious. "Why don't you order a case?"

A few days later he got a large box delivered with 24 iPhones inside.

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?

Because he was on a roll.

"Kulua Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...

... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"