Best Jokes

During the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface.

"Look at that," said one to the other, "how beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by man."

At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio communications knocked out by unknown interference. They followed the source of the interference until they reached the rim of a crater. "Do you see what the source of that noise is?" asked the first astronaut.

"I don't know," said the second, "but it might be coming from that Starbucks behind you."

Man: Baby, you so fine, I want to be different and give you this here line.

Woman: This ain't a line, this is a folded up piece of paper!

Man: Please open the paper and say what you see.

Woman: What is this, all I see is a line???!!!

Man: Yes, and if you put it to your ear, it will be a line you never heard before!

A very drunk man turns up at his house at 6 o'clock in the morning with his hair and clothes disheveled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, "I hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!"

"Yes," replied the man, "I was hoping for some breakfast!"