Best Jokes

Q: Why would they not let the Pirate into the theater?
A: Because it was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline:

You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."

No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

How do u get a crazy one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

One day a curious little girl started asking her mommy questions about the origin of her little brother. She just kept asking questions and her mommy believed she should have an answer to ANY question she asked. One question led to another and eventually the mommy had to describe to the little girl EXACTLY how the sperm got to the egg....

The little girl got a disgusted look on her face and shouted, "EEEEWWWW!!! and you and daddy had to do it TWICE!!!!"