Dad ask my Mom, why wont you let the boy wear his hat, coat and gloves to go out and build a snowman with the other kids?
Mom - I don't want him to stay out long enough to catch cold!
Glad I looked in the mirror, i've been looking for that hat for 2 hours!
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean Beef!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef!
What do you call it when a cow tries to jump over a barbed wire fence?
Udder Destruction!
The Lone Ranger rides into town during the hottest part of summer. He stops outside a saloon and tells Tonto to run in circles around silver, waving his poncho to keep a nice breeze on the horse while he goes in for a drink.
A couple of minutes later, a man dressed in black swaggers into the bar and says, "You the Lone Ranger?" "Yes I am" the Lone Ranger replies. "Well", says the man in black, "Did ya know ya left your injun runnin?"