Best Jokes

I asked my wife to buy a single thyme plant while she was at the nursery, because that's all the room I have left in my planter.

She came back with two plants because they were on sale.

I guess she two thymed me.

"Of course I'll attend your no alcohol, vegan Halloween party tonight…

I'll be dressed as the Invisible Man!"

I had a happy childhood.

My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills.

Those were Goodyears.

Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?

He went to see "Closed for the Winter".