Best Jokes

A new wife prepared to bake a ham to celebrate their first Easter together. She carefully cut off each end of the ham before placing it in the pan.

Her husband asked her why she did that and she replied, "I don't know, it's what my mother always did. But I can ask her."

She called Mom, who responded, "I always saw your Grandma do it, so I did the same."

They decided to check further, so the young woman called Grandma, who explained, "It was the only way I could get it to fit into my pan."

A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand.

“Mommy, what happened to him?” the little boy asked.

“He died and went to heaven,” she replied.

The child thought for a moment and said, “And God threw him back down?”

It was Thanksgiving day and the hall bathroom was not working. There was another bathroom off the master bedroom, so the mother asked her pre-teen daughter to put a sign on the hall bathroom door and then close it.

Due to the busyness of all the preparations for the big event, the mother never had the opportunity to even walk by the hallway bathroom until all her guests had left that day. When she finally did pass the hallway bathroom, she saw the sign her young daughter had written and left on the door.

It read: "Out of odor."

The young couple admired the scarecrow they saw along the road. "Look at that," said the girl. "Not a crow in sight."

The boy looked at the scarecrow and said, "Good job scarecrow!"

To their surprise the scarecrow replied. "Hay, it's in my jeans."