Best Jokes

It was the toughest experience of my life.

First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.

Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.

These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.

Realizing that perhaps I might do better with another doctor, I made an appointment at new medical office. The receptionist had me fill out forms that included my medical history.

I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.

I'm so hungry that I could eat a TV dinner right about now.

The problem is, my TV is bigger than my microwave!

A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a day's work.

Last week Walmart was asking $200 for the lamp I wanted, today they wanted $100.

I told them I'd wait until it was worth $200 again!