Best Jokes

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello."

"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now."

Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

A senior citizen was showing off a new car he had bought to his grandson.

"Let's go for a spin," he told the youngster.

The old man pulled out of his driveway and placed his fingers above the top of the steering wheel, controlling it only with his thumbs pressed against the lower edge of the wheel.

"That's weird," the grandpa said, "I still don't hear anything."

"What are you talking about?" the grandson asked.

"The car salesman said I could hear lots of different kinds of music if I used a thumb drive."

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight.

Why?

Because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

What do you get when you have a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile!