The snowman decided he had to go to the barber to get all his icicles cut off.
He was tired of having frosted flakes.
Waitress: “What’ll it be, Pops?”
Pops: “I’ll take two eggs, a pancake, a sausage, and a beer.”
Waitress: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve beer with breakfast.”
Pops: “Dang it! Well then why the heck do you call yourself IHOP?”
Cowboy Bob and Cowboy Roger kept each of their horses in the same field. To help tell them apart, Bob tied a red ribbon to his horse's tail and Roger tied a blue ribbon to his horse's tail. The next morning, when they went to check on their horses, they noticed that the ribbons had fallen off of the horses' tails.
"Now how will we tell our horses apart?" Bob said despairingly.
Roger mused for a moment, then was struck by an idea. "I know... how about if you take the brown one and I take the grey one?"
In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home.
The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past a red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox."
As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, "What color is your house?"
The woman paused a second, then said, "Hold on. I'll go check."