During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.
He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.
When the service was over, he went to greet people at the front door. Three different adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.
Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus were reviewing letters from children when Santa said, "I just don't know if I can grant this wish. It is impossible."
"What are they asking for?" she inquired.
"Alligator shoes," he said.
"We have all kinds of alligator shoes, what is the problem?"
"They did not give me the shoe size of the alligator."
It was Sunday morning and Mom told little Tommy to get dressed for church. She told him it was time he dressed himself. She then went to get dressed. After she was done, she went to check on Tommy.
Little Tommy was taking a long time but he finally came out and asked his mom to help him with his tie.
He had all his good clothes on except his shirt. His shirt was one of his old shirts that was torn and tattered. She asked him, "Why did you choose that shirt to go to church?"
Tommy said, "It is the best shirt for church, because it is 'hole-y'!"