Best Jokes

This old woman would never drink beer.The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door.

"What do you want, Sonny?" she demanded.

"D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked.

"Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady.

"S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"

What is “Consciousness"?

That annoying time between naps.

A Florida officer pulled over an eighty-year-old school teacher because her hand signals were confusing. "First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you waved your hand up and down, then you turned left," said the officer.

"I decided not to turn right," she explained.

“Then why the up and down?" asked the officer.

"Officer," she sniffed, "I was erasing!"