Best Jokes

Q: "How many grandmothers does it take to change a light bulb?"

A: "None. I'll sit in the dark. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me..."

We took the kids to one of those restaurants where the walls are plastered with movie memorabilia. I went off to see the hostess about reserving a table. When I returned, I found my 10-year-old granddaughter staring at a poster of Superman standing in a phone booth.

She looked puzzled. "She doesn't know who Superman is?" I asked my wife.

"Worse," my wife replied. "She doesn't know what a phone booth is."

A security patrol officer in a senior gated community stopped an elderly gentleman in a speeding golf cart. "Sir, do you know your wife fell out of your golf cart when you hit that last speed bump?"

"Oh, that is wonderful officer", replied. "I am so relieved."

"Didn't you hear me? Your wife fell out of the cart!" the officer said in astonishment.

"You don't understand, I could not hear a thing for the last ten minutes... I thought I had gone deaf."

I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew having a snack. "Where's your mother?" I asked.

"She is upstairs, said she was going to take a shower. Hang on, let me check."

He stepped into the nearby bathroom and flushed the toilet. A second later a sharp yell came from upstairs.

My nephew walked back out and said, "Yep, she's in the shower."