Principal: "Now Tyler, why weren't you in class today? I want an explanation, and I want the truth."
Tyler: "Well, which would you rather have?"
During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end coolly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number."
Neighbor: "How old is your father?"
Boy: "As old as me."
Neighbor: "How can that be?"
Boy: "He became a father when I was born."
Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then divided by 4, what would you get?
Student: The wrong answer.