Best Jokes

What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?

Bi-yourself!

A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my precious little dog who was drowning…

After he climbed out, he handed me the dog and said, “Here is ze dog, keep him warm and dry him off he vill be fine.”

I said, “Are you a vet?”

He replied, “Vet? I’m soaking!”

Lisa: "My son is a waiter."

Rose: "Oh, he works in the food industry?"

Lisa: "No, he always keeps us waiting."

Harry: "I've just discovered oil."

Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"

Harry: "Leaking from our old car."