Best Jokes

Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my son. When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Casey nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me.

Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse. Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual food-drug interaction my son must have. When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle.

As per the doctor's instructions, it read: Do not take with broccoli.

A man was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring his reflection, when he posed the following question to his wife of 20 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”

She answered, “Of course I will. I've already been doing it for the past 5 years haven't I?”

Q: How do you make a goldfish old?

A: Take away the g!

Once there was a Spanish speaking magician who promised a vanishing act. So he says, "I will count to 3 and I will disappear!"

"Uno! Dos!" and then POOF! With a puff of smoke he was gone, without even a Tres!