Best Jokes

My ex-wife goes bowling with the money I send her each month.

I guess that's why they call it alley money.

Q: Why do they call it PMS?

A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

A few years I got tired of the city life and bought a little cabin In the remote mountains of Alaska. It was a long winter, but made it thru it.

One day I heard a knock at my door I opened it and there stood a big burly guy. He said he lived over the mountain and had seen my smoke. He said he is throwing a spring party over at his cabin. He said it will be tomorrow and asked me if I wanted to come?

I said ya, its been a long winter,

He said There would be a lot of drinking,

I said I like to drink.

Also there will probably be some fighting,

I said I could hold my own.

Then he said, oh, there will be a lot of sex,

I said wow, Its been a long time for me.

He said see you tomorrow and started to walk off.

I said what time should I be there?

He said, it doesn't matter, There's only going to be you and me!

Saw my old car yesterday. It is a Rolls Canarly.

It rolls down one hill and canarly make up the the other.