Best Jokes

“Do you know, why Andrews is so popular with the girls?”

“No, why?”

“When he sits down beside a pretty girl in a bar, he tells her, 'I’m not really so tall, I’m just sitting on my wallet.'"

Did you hear about the Canadian man who had a map of Canada tattooed to his butt?

Every time he sat down, Quebec separated.

Q: There is a butcher at the butcher shop. He is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?

A: He weighs meat.

A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room.

Glaring at me, he grumbled, “What are they doing back there, counting the money?”