Best Jokes

A husband expects his wife to be perfect...

and to understand why he’s not.

Marriage is mind over matter...

If the husband doesn’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"

John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I even drool on myself."

When it comes to religion, I once tried atheism....

But I had to give it up for Lent.