Best Jokes

How did the farmer meet his wife?

He tractor down!

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Beef Jerky

I just saw an ad on the New York City subway that read...

“Learn to read and speak English. Call us now!"

The government has a vast scrap yard in the middle of the desert. The congressman whose district it's in says someone might steal from it at night, so congress creates a night watchman, GS-4 position and hires a person for the job. Then the congressman asks, "How does the watchman do his job with out instruction?"

So congress creates a planning position and hires two people - one person to write the instructions, a GS-12, and one person to do time studies, a GS-11.

"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" the congressman asks.

So Congress creates a quality control position and hires a GS-9 to do quality control studies and a GS-11 to write the reports. Then the congressman asks "How are these people going to get paid?"

So congress authorizes a positions of timekeeper, GS-9, and payroll officer, GS-11, and two people are hired to fill the slots.

"Who will be accountable for all of these people?" the congressman asks.

So they hire three people, and administrative officer, GS-13, an assistant administrative officer GS-12, and a legal secretary, a GS-8. On the eve of the next election season the congressman looks at the cost and says, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $40,000 over budget. We must cutback overall costs."

So they lay off the night watchman.