Best Jokes

A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, "I'm so old. I'm so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment."
Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, "Damn, do you have good eyesight!"

Two fish in a tank one says to the other
"How do you drive this thing"

I have this big problem, doctor – everyone is calling me crazy just because I love hot dogs …
- That’s stupid, in my opinion – frankly, I adore hot dogs too, but nobody calls me crazy ...
- Really? Great, doctor! Why don’t you come along with me and I’ll show you my collection!

Did you hear about the dead cabbage?
There was a big turnip at the funeral.