Best Jokes

Q. What has two circles on either end, and is high in the middle?
A. Ohio

A very well-known international furniture and interior decoration D.I.Y. Store recently set up a customer assistance department. The first call they got was from a lady who had purchased a wardrobe early in the morning. She explained that after assembly the wardrobe had crumbled three times when the public transport bus passed in front of her house. The store sent a technician over to her place. He reassembled the wardrobe - which was in the night hall on the second floor - and then went into it to observe what would happen when the bus, which was due a few minutes later, went by. The phone rang just then and the lady went downstairs to take the call. Just then her husband came home from work with a terrible flue condition. Hearing his wife on the phone he trudged upstairs where he found the wardrobe; on opening one of the doors and seeing the man inside he exclaimed "What the dickens are you doing in there!?!" To which the guy replied "I know you'll never believe this, but I'm waiting for the bus!!"

Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case.

The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant's table, and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs.

They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs.

The second judge was furious. "I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!", he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, "This is the second such case we've had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!"

An example of the new America: A brother and sister were driving to a couple stores and the conversation of buying things they needed came up. As they were talking, the sister mentioned that she needed to get a new car. The brother said, “Well, you have a college degree now, so you can go get the job that pays you more." The sister, who made between 10 and 11 dollars an hour said, “I already got the job that my college degree will get me. Now what?”