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Favorite this joke My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this."
The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter. "Well, what do you recommend?" I asked.
He looked at me and replied, "Give your dog the other shoe."
Why is a psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than for a woman?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale hands shaking in fear.
"What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.
"No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicago. The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the USA."
Bob replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. I've worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you've lived and worked there all those years and say its OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck..."
"Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend.
"Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren't watching?" Bob asked.
"Well, no," admitted the friend.
"Neither will John," replied Bob.
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