Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Steve phoned his dentist when he received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" he complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."
Two emos walk in to a bar.
One says, "We should hang out sometime!"
The other says, "Sure, what tree?"
Don't you just hate it when people respond with BIG WORDS that make them sound so PERSPICACIOUS?
After studying all night for his zoology final, David, a senior, enters class confident that he will conquer the test. He takes his seat and looks around at all the panicked faces around him. "I got this," he says to himself, pulling out his lucky pen.
The professor calls for attention and only then does David see the six stuffed birds covered with canvas with only their feet showing. The professor says, "Identify the birds. You have the entire class time. Begin."
"This is impossible," says David.
"Nothing is impossible," replies the professor.
Little by little the other students finish their exam and turn in their papers. David looks down at his blank sheet and shakes his head in disgust as the anger of defeat bubbles forth. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I studied all night!" He crumples his test and throws it on the floor. "THIS IS THE DUMBEST TEST I HAVE EVER SEEN!" He jabs his finger in the professor's direction but says nothing, and storms toward the exit.
The professor calls out, "What is your name young man?"
In response, David spins around, hikes up his pants and thrusts his foot at the professor. "You tell me!"
Free Daily Joke