I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."
Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
Young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
Visitor: "Whats the wifi password?"
Priest: "Respect the dead."
Visitor: "All upper case?"
A man sees an ad for a $50 cruise on Craigslist. Despite his better judgement, he grabs some cash and makes his way to the address given in the ad.
He opens the door to a small office and is knocked unconscious from behind. He wakes up tied to a barrel floating in the Atlantic Ocean. "Well, this sucks," he thinks out loud.
A second man floats by, also tied to a barrel. "Tell me about it," the second man replies. "This is worse than last year."