Latest Jokes

4 votes

Taking great pains to be specific, the new auto-shop teacher on our staff explained to three of his students that he wanted them to clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and the car keys. He mentioned that the car was one to be used in his class.

Later he went out and discovered them sitting in the car, feet up on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. "Why aren't you vacuuming the car?" he asked.

"Because the extension cord wouldn't reach," was the reply.

Exasperated, the teacher stated, "That's why I gave you two."

"We tried the other one," a student said, "but it wouldn't reach either."

4 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
5 votes

It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids.

"Who's winning?" I asked cheerfully.

"I am," said one.

"No, I am," said another.

"No," the father said. "Their mother is!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$6.00 won 4 votes

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she or he keeps cranking out.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

4 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"

The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."

7 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Gegg Smith" |