I wanted to donate blood today but they ask too many personal questions...
Like, "Whose blood is it?" and "Where did you get it?"....
I am getting married for the 5th time...
Having been married 4 times before I can tell when it's right!
My doctor was giving me a hard time about my health. To get back on his good side I bought a puppy and named him 'Five Miles'.
That way, when I went to see my doctor I could tell him, "I walk five miles every morning!"
A lady went into the grocery and asked for fifty gallons of milk. The clerk, amazed, asked her what she was going to do with that much milk.
"I have a skin problem and the doctor prescribed a milk bath."
The clerk asked, "Pasteurized?"
She replied, "No, just up to my chin."