"Dad," I said to my father on Father's Day, "it's Father's Day today! As a gift, I want to take you and mom out for a great day!"
"Thank you, my son," said my father, taking a deep draw from his cigarette. "If you really want to get me a gift, just take your mom out for the whole day."
I was talking with my best friend the other day, and we talked about a very beautiful girl who was married to a very rich yet very ugly man.
"What a pity!" she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"It's a pity I wasn't the bride," she said with a deep sigh.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
What else, a chicken tender!