Latest Jokes

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.

A newspaper editor announces that there's enough money in the budget to install a newsroom chandelier. The reporters huddle and send a spokesman to say they're against it.

"Against it? Why?" the editor asks.

"First," the reporter says, "no one on the staff can spell 'chandelier' well enough to put it on an order form. Second, I don't believe that anybody here can play one if we had it. And third, if you got that much money, we think you should get a hanging light instead, to brighten up the office!"

A little boy went down the street with his mom. He saw a dollar bill on the ground and he asked if he could pick it up. The mom said, "Don't pick things up from the ground."

Then the boy saw two dollar bills on the ground. He asked his mom, "Can i pick the two dollars up?"

The mom said again, "Don't pick things up from the ground." Then the mom slipped on a banana peel and fell down. The mom asked, "Can you help me up?"

The boy said, "I was told not to pick things up from the ground."