Latest Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After noticing there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar, he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, “If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar $100. Do you want to give it a try?”

The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, “Nah, no thanks. The steaks are too high!”

A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I want a grilled............... cheese please."

The waiter asks, "What's with the pause?"

The bear replies. "What do you mean, I'm a bear aren't I?

The young couple admired the scarecrow they saw along the road. "Look at that," said the girl. "Not a crow in sight."

The boy looked at the scarecrow and said, "Good job scarecrow!"

To their surprise the scarecrow replied. "Hay, it's in my jeans."

An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour.

"No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp without an alarm clock."

"Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?"