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Favorite this joke An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.
"Yes," he replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shimmying up and down that drainpipe!"
There was a ventriloquist who had no work for six months. He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work." So this ventriloquist went home and hung outside his door a psychic sign.
An hour later a woman knocks on the door. "I want to talk to my deceased husband. How much will it cost?"
The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, $50. If he talks to you, $100. If you both talk to each other while I'm drinking coffee, that's $200."
A farmers wife is cooking. She says "I need a cup of molasses, but I ran out."
Farmers runs outside and returns with two dead moles.
Wife says, "I said a cup of molasses, not a couple of mole asses!"
The pediatric nurse entered the room, prepared to do the job of giving a shot to a little girl. Upon entering the examining room, little girl starting screaming, “NO! NO! NO!”
“Jessica,” her mother scolded her, “that is not polite behavior!”
The girl stopped briefly and then continued with her screaming, “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”
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