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Favorite this joke Husband: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you.
Wife: Nonsense! it's only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well...
The young man comes running into the store and says to his buddy, "Tommy, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'
Tommy reacts, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answers, "No, I couldn't tell... but I did get his license plate number!"
Grandma, who was becoming an evermore intimidating personality as the years went on, was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, ring my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?" the grandson asked.
"You're coming empty handed?"
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner."
The room got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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