A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."
The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.
The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A: Meet Patty.
The patient runs into his psychiatrist's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam!"
The psychiatrist looks at him and says, "Relax, you're just too tents!"
Yo' momma so ugly - when you was born you tried to crawl back in!!!