Latest Jokes

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock... If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours... If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells... If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3... and if it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

Yo momma is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

I said to my neighbor, "You'd better let your shutters down, because yesterday I saw you making love with your wife."

"Haha, you idiot," he replied. "I wasn't even home yesterday."

I recently had a stroke and while laying in the hospital bed the phone rang, it was the PGA. This very proper voice said, "Is this Mr Petty?" I mumbled a "Yes." The voice continues, "I have to tell you sir, YOUR HANDICAP HAS JUST GONE UP BY ONE STROKE!"