Latest Jokes

Man: (to woman) I'd buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.

Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwownig!

If a fellow met a fellow in a field of flowers...........
How many "f's" in that?
None.
There are no "F's" in the word: That.