What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!
"Have you got anything to drink?"
“Water.”
"I meant something harder?"
“Ice.”
Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children.
After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave the bathroom as you found it."
I noticed the bathroom was in the usual mess after my son used it, so I called, "Brian, how did you find the bathroom?"
After a brief pause, he replied, "Straight down the hall, first door on the right."
Bobby: What is the difference between a lemon, an elephant, and a bag of cement?
Ray: I give up, what's the difference?
Bobby: You can squeeze a lemon, but you can't squeeze an elephant.
Ray: What about the bag of cement?
Bobby: I just threw that in to make it hard.