Latest Jokes

Tim: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant.

Tom: What do you want with an elephant?

Tim: Nothing, I just want the money.

What do you get if you mix sorbitol, gelatin, #3 red dye and artificial flavorings then post your formula online joking it's antigravity material?

You get a friendly midnight visit from men in black and get to explain you're only trying to make gummy bears.

A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.

The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”

The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'

Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.

The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"

A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"