Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
Joe: Every night I take two quarters to bed with me.
Peter: Whatever for?
Joe: They are my sleeping quarters.
Anyone want to buy some exercise equipment?
I'm having a going-out-of-fitness sale.
Customer: Waiter, I’ll have grits, please.
Waiter: Hominy, sir?
Customer: Oh, a couple of dozen.