The arithmetic teacher proposed the following to the class, "If there are three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?"
After a short time, Little Johnny shouts out, "Two left."
The teachers response, "I'm afraid you don't get the point. Let me repeat the joke. There were three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?
Johnny replied again, "Two left."
Teacher, "No, none would be left, because when one is shot, the other two would fly away."
Johnny, "That's what I said, TWO LEFT!!!"
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9...
The odds were against me.
The soldier asked for a furlough so that he might get married. "How long have you known this girl," the sergeant asked.
"A week."
"Why, my lad, that's not long enough. I suggest you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married I will approve the furlough."
Two months later the soldier was back, reminding the sergeant of his promise.
"So you still want to get married? I didn't think that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for a couple of months."
"I know, sir. But this isn't the same girl."