Joe: "I know the capital of North Carolina."
Sam: "Really?"
Joe: "No, Raleigh."
I entered my first marathon and finished first!
Two steps into it I stubbed my toe and finished, first.
To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.
We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember.
After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."
A Washington reporter was awakened by her husband in the middle of the night. "I think there's a thief in the house," he said.
"No doubt," she said sleepily. "And there are a handful in the Senate, too."