Teacher: “Little Johnny, please spell the word 'pole'.”
Little Johnny: “P-O-L.”
Teacher: “But what is at the end of it?”
Little Johnny: “Electrical Wires, but I can’t spell that yet.”
Two young children stood in front of a mummy case in the museum. On the bottom of the mummy case they noticed ”1286 B.C.”.
”What does that number mean?” asked the first one.
The second one thought a moment and said, ”That must be the license plate of the car that hit him.”
At the monthly meeting of the local group of struggling artists, two of them were discussing their respective prospects.
First artist: "I'm not doing too well. I painted a picture for a local lady but she didn't like it. She said it made her look just like a monkey."
Second artist: "I hope you were diplomatic about it?"
First artist: "Yes, I told her she should have thought about that before she had her picture painted."
A guy goes to see the doctor for his aching shoulder problem. The doctor said, "Okay, it is a bit inflamed. What I want you to do is put a bag of frozen peas on it, on and off for a week."
"The peas will work?" the guy asked.
The doctor replies, "Yes, just give peas a chance."